NICABM – How to work with shame

How to Break the Power of Shame by Engaging it

Marsha Linehan, PhD      Kelly McGonigal, PhD      Ron Siegel, PsyD
Joan Borysenko, PhD      Bill O’Hanlon, LMFT

• The one counterintuitive technique that removes the fear of rejection from shameThe one counterintuitive technique that removes the fear of rejection from shame
• The most common type of shame (and why clients often believe they caused it)The most common type of shame (and why clients often believe they caused it)
• How to approach treatment when a client’s shame is legitimateHow to approach treatment when a client’s shame is legitimate

The Way a Shame Posture Impacts Emotions (And How to Bring Clients Out of It)

Peter Levine, PhD      Bill O’Hanlon, LMFT
Ron Siegel, PsyD      Kelly McGonigal, PhD

• Why a posture of shame looks identical to a posture of traumaWhy a posture of shame looks identical to a posture of trauma
• How to adjust your office seating to avoid triggering your client’s shameHow to adjust your office seating to avoid triggering your client’s shame
• A guided exercise to help bring clients out of a posture of shameA guided exercise to help bring clients out of a posture of shame

How to Work With Shame When it’s Connected to Trauma

Part 1: A Way to Heal Trauma-Based Shame Using a 3-Dimensional SpacePart 1: A Way to Heal Trauma-Based Shame Using a 3-Dimensional Space

Bessel van der Kolk, PhD      Bill O’Hanlon, LMFT

• The “meaning-making” system that allows shame to take over a client’s lifeThe “meaning-making” system that allows shame to take over a client’s life
• Why differentiation is so crucial in eliminating shameWhy differentiation is so crucial in eliminating shame

Part 2: Rewiring the Body’s Reaction to Shame and TraumaPart 2: Rewiring the Body’s Reaction to Shame and Trauma

Pat Ogden, PhD      Kelly McGonigal, PhD

• How attachment shame can lead to broken adult relationshipsHow attachment shame can lead to broken adult relationships
• How to pull a client out of hypoarousal when shame causes them to dissociateHow to pull a client out of hypoarousal when shame causes them to dissociate
• How to shift the way a client physically organizes their history of shameHow to shift the way a client physically organizes their history of shame

How to Shift Clients Out of Feelings of Unworthiness

Rick Hanson, PhD      Ron Siegel, PsyD      Kelly McGonigal, PhD
Joan Borysenko, PhD      Bill O’Hanlon, LMFT

• Why it’s crucial to approach shame differently for introverts and extrovertsWhy it’s crucial to approach shame differently for introverts and extroverts
• How to use neuroplasticity to erase the old learning that promotes shameHow to use neuroplasticity to erase the old learning that promotes shame
• Why clients need to tolerate feelings of shame before undoing themWhy clients need to tolerate feelings of shame before undoing them

How to Work With the Inner Voice of Shame

Richard Schwartz, PhD      Joan Borysenko, PhD

• The 2-part phenomenon that creates shameThe 2-part phenomenon that creates shame
• The inner personality that you must approach first (so it doesn’t sabotage your work)The inner personality that you must approach first (so it doesn’t sabotage your work)
• The one thing you need to do to get the inner critic to voluntarily disarmThe one thing you need to do to get the inner critic to voluntarily disarm

The 4-Part Skill That Can Build Trust With Your Client

Dan Siegel, MD      Kelly McGonigal, PhD      Ron Siegel, PsyD

• What happens when the hippocampus fails to integrate implicit memoriesWhat happens when the hippocampus fails to integrate implicit memories
• The difficult choice point a neglected child faces that invites lifelong shameThe difficult choice point a neglected child faces that invites lifelong shame
• How to help clients release deep feelings of inner defectivenessHow to help clients release deep feelings of inner defectiveness

How to Work With Shame That Developed in Childhood

Part 1 : The Generational Effects of Shame on Loved OnesPart 1 : The Generational Effects of Shame on Loved Ones

Sue Johnson, EdD      Ron Siegel, PsyD      Kelly McGonigal, PhD Joan Borysenko, PhD      Bill O’Hanlon, LMFT

• The one element of shame that creates havoc in relationshipsThe one element of shame that creates havoc in relationships
• How shame is passed on to future generationsHow shame is passed on to future generations
• The parenting style that generates an inner incompetence in childrenThe parenting style that generates an inner incompetence in children

Part 2: How to Work with Shame without Retriggering ItPart 2: How to Work with Shame without Retriggering It

Zindel Segal, PhD      Elisha Goldstein, PhD      Joan Borysenko, PhD

• Why some clients may be unaware that shame is fueling their behaviorWhy some clients may be unaware that shame is fueling their behavior
• The first thing you should identify when treating a client’s shameThe first thing you should identify when treating a client’s shame
• Why it can be risky to reveal the developmental connection to your client’s shameWhy it can be risky to reveal the developmental connection to your client’s shame

The Impact of Shame Messaging and How to Dismantle It

Kelly McGonigal, PhD      Terry Real, MSW, LICSW
Joan Borysenko, PhD      Bill O’Hanlon, LMFT

• How unrealistic standards can lay the foundation for systemic shameHow unrealistic standards can lay the foundation for systemic shame
• The 3-second indulgence that helps unravel inner harshnessThe 3-second indulgence that helps unravel inner harshness

The Neurobiology of Shame

Part 1: How Shame Triggers the Body’s Shut-Down ResponsePart 1: How Shame Triggers the Body’s Shut-Down Response

Stephen Porges, PhD

• How to avoid triggering your client’s physiological response to shameHow to avoid triggering your client’s physiological response to shame
• The one intervention that can stop the body from shutting downThe one intervention that can stop the body from shutting down
• How the body’s reflexive response to shame can lead to dissociationHow the body’s reflexive response to shame can lead to dissociation

Part 2: How the Psychobiology of Shame Can Help Your WorkPart 2: How the Psychobiology of Shame Can Help Your Work

Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT      Ron Siegel, PsyD      Bill O’Hanlon, LMFT

• How the nervous system traps your client in shameHow the nervous system traps your client in shame
• The one thing a loved one can do to regulate their partner’s shameThe one thing a loved one can do to regulate their partner’s shame
• What can go wrong when the practitioner’s shame gets triggered in a sessionWhat can go wrong when the practitioner’s shame gets triggered in a session

How to Unravel the Shame in Relationships

Part 1: The Crucial Role of an Attachment Figure in Treating ShamePart 1: The Crucial Role of an Attachment Figure in Treating Shame

Sue Johnson, EdD

• The big risk a client must take to gain a corrective experienceThe big risk a client must take to gain a corrective experience
• The one assumption about love and caring that we almost always get wrongThe one assumption about love and caring that we almost always get wrong

Part 2: How Shame in a Relationship Can Trigger PTSDPart 2: How Shame in a Relationship Can Trigger PTSD

Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT      Bill O’Hanlon, LMFT      Kelly McGonigal, PhD

• How to deal with a couple when one partner feels ashamed and the other feels betrayedHow to deal with a couple when one partner feels ashamed and the other feels betrayed
• The important thing a client needs to see when coming out of a shut-down stateThe important thing a client needs to see when coming out of a shut-down state
• The one type of shame that can lead to a partner developing PTSDThe one type of shame that can lead to a partner developing PTSD